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  1. #1
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    Drunk Bailing Out thread

    yeah I'm drunk n many threads I know but whatever.
    Last edited by Bailing_Out; 05-18-2020 at 12:09 AM.
    Kissinger Quote "The superpowers often behave like two heavily armed blind men feeling their way around a room, each believing himself in mortal peril from the other, whom he assumes to have perfect vision.
    Over time even two armed blind men in a room can do enormous damage to each other, not to speak of the room."

    Josey Wales: When I get to likin' someone, they ain't around long.
    Lone Watie: I notice when you get to DISlikin' someone they ain't around for long neither.

    The camps I remember being in. Maybe some others, I was drinking, I was on the moon with Steve.



    my blog Which I rarely post to.

  2. #2
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    Re: Drunk Bailing Out thread

    "Melvin may have to delete this LOL"

    Nah, you did it before me. If I did anything, it would be to move it to the off-topic area... a.k.a., the Mess Hall.
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  3. #3
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    Re: Drunk Bailing Out thread

    Quote Originally Posted by [WaW]CA|Melvin View Post
    "Melvin may have to delete this LOL"

    Nah, you did it before me. If I did anything, it would be to move it to the off-topic area... a.k.a., the Mess Hall.
    Well I'm drunk again and still worried bout my wife with her cancer. Shes talkin bout not having anything done. Of course what shes seen with my family is influencing her. My mother, my brother, well you may as well have shot them in the gut and watched them die slowly. Thats what chemo did to them. It did them same to other members of my family but other people were cured by it, not in my family. Of course she asked me what I would do and of course I said I wouldn't do a damn thing (cause of my family's history) and now I wish I had kept my mouth shut, I would have a surgeon cut out what they could. It may not work out the same with her. Some people chemo works on and some it kills.
    Kissinger Quote "The superpowers often behave like two heavily armed blind men feeling their way around a room, each believing himself in mortal peril from the other, whom he assumes to have perfect vision.
    Over time even two armed blind men in a room can do enormous damage to each other, not to speak of the room."

    Josey Wales: When I get to likin' someone, they ain't around long.
    Lone Watie: I notice when you get to DISlikin' someone they ain't around for long neither.

    The camps I remember being in. Maybe some others, I was drinking, I was on the moon with Steve.



    my blog Which I rarely post to.

  4. #4
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    Re: Drunk Bailing Out thread

    I would probably go for both the doctors AND the family's advise if it were me, (and hope they agree). But on life and death stuff, you should get a second opinion from a doctor.

    Three women in my immediate family got breast cancer. Early detection was crucial. One caught it early and only got a lumpectomy; no other treatment. That was decades ago and she is still kickin' butt. Another didn't fair so good since the cancer had metastasized. She had mastectomy, then radiation, and then chemotherapy. She died a few years after the detection. That was back in the 80's. The third caught it before it spread. She had mastectomy, radiation, chemotherapy, and since the cancer type was hormone sensitive she got Tamoxifen hormone therapy to finish the treatment. That was about 15 years ago and she is very healthy and loving life.

    I wish you and your family the best of outcomes.
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  5. #5
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    Re: Drunk Bailing Out thread

    Okay,
    Last edited by Bailing_Out; 06-15-2020 at 01:28 AM.
    Kissinger Quote "The superpowers often behave like two heavily armed blind men feeling their way around a room, each believing himself in mortal peril from the other, whom he assumes to have perfect vision.
    Over time even two armed blind men in a room can do enormous damage to each other, not to speak of the room."

    Josey Wales: When I get to likin' someone, they ain't around long.
    Lone Watie: I notice when you get to DISlikin' someone they ain't around for long neither.

    The camps I remember being in. Maybe some others, I was drinking, I was on the moon with Steve.



    my blog Which I rarely post to.

  6. #6
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    Re: Drunk Bailing Out thread

    We gonna talk to cancer doctor Monday. I got a bad feeling about it cause he keeps putting off my wifes chemo and radiation. My brother is coming 4th of July week cause I told him bout my bad feelings. I haven't lost faith, I keep praying for my wife but I know her family has the worst luck of any people I've ever known. She laughs about this of course cause she knows its true. I always hoped my families good luck would rub off on her and it did to certain extent. I won't go into it but my family is lucky as hell in a way. She didn't have the bad luck of the rest of them in many ways. She can't get away with it all though. **** THEY HAVE THE WORST LUCK I HAVE EVER HAVE SEEN IN MY LIFE. I've written about some of the crap my family has gone through but its nowhere near as bad as the crap they've gone through.

    My luck just can't cover her, I can hug her as hard as I want but I can't fix this. I look in my daughters eyes and she expects it kinda cause of grandma and how long she went. I caint say it to her but I want to say "daddies families luck caint cover this". Her momma's families luck is too bad, its horrible. I told her this in a way, I said, "your family has the worst luck of any people I've ever seen" I know I shouldn't have said that but I did.

    An example, back in the 70's, ****ers show up to rob their house. These are poor as hell people, they shoot her sister in the head and then shoot my wife's 2 year old niece in the head cause they want no witnesses. THEY KILL A 2 YEAR OLD CAUSE THEY WANT NO WITNESSES. Sister survives, shes never been the same since. THEY HAD NOTHING TO STEAL but both got shot in the head. THATS HOW BAD THEIR LUCK IS. I hit the table in the hospital room when they told my wife she had cancer and said "YOUR FAMILY HAS THE WORST LUCK OF ANYBODY I'VE EVER SEEN.

    She laughed and said "We can only live until we die". I don't know what else to say after that.

  7. #7
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    Re: Drunk Bailing Out thread

    OK I couldn't post this here cause my daughter may know my password. My wife isn't going to do chemo or radiation. Her doctor told her she could but also said it might prolong her life but would worsen her suffering. Said it would not cure her. I've cried my *** off about this but have seen what chemo did to my family members. Basically you may as well have shot them in the gut and let them suffer and die, slowly but in less time than they might have lived had they not taken it at all. Anyway, trying to get her to take out her retirement 401 k money and let me rent and RV to go to the Keys like she has wanted to go to. Told her it sounds fine to leave me the money but she should get to spend some of the money she earned. Won't go now but I think in September she will.
    Kissinger Quote "The superpowers often behave like two heavily armed blind men feeling their way around a room, each believing himself in mortal peril from the other, whom he assumes to have perfect vision.
    Over time even two armed blind men in a room can do enormous damage to each other, not to speak of the room."

    Josey Wales: When I get to likin' someone, they ain't around long.
    Lone Watie: I notice when you get to DISlikin' someone they ain't around for long neither.

    The camps I remember being in. Maybe some others, I was drinking, I was on the moon with Steve.



    my blog Which I rarely post to.

  8. #8
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    Re: Drunk Bailing Out thread

    As we get old and outlast friends and family, it never gets easier. Its a horrible pain to see loved ones suffer. I wish your wife will go on that trip; whatever makes her happy in the time she has left.
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    Re: Drunk Bailing Out thread

    Yea though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I shall fear no evil. Yet I do. I fear the evil I may do without her cause somewhere inside I am an evil SOB, well in some ways. My oldest granddaughter, may keep me from much of it cause shes so smart and can talk me into anything.

    I watch that old supreme court justice RBG keep right on going, seemingly no matter what, and even though I agree with nothing she thinks I keep praying for that little **** to keep on going. I don't know why, I guess my f ing humanity won't let me wish for her death even though many I agree with seem to do so. Won't change anything even if I were to go to the dark side, I just cain't bring myself to go there.

    Tonight, without telling her exactly why, I told my oldest grandchild to pray for her Grams. She is too smart, she knew why even if she didn't know the disease her Gram has. I figured her purity, would be better than my ****ing prayers, the prayers of a horrible dark hearted sinner.

    I'll be dead in a year without her, you know what bothers me about that, how ****ing selfish it sounds.

    I did not want to knock HLL off the top but its saturday night so someone post some HLL stuff
    Kissinger Quote "The superpowers often behave like two heavily armed blind men feeling their way around a room, each believing himself in mortal peril from the other, whom he assumes to have perfect vision.
    Over time even two armed blind men in a room can do enormous damage to each other, not to speak of the room."

    Josey Wales: When I get to likin' someone, they ain't around long.
    Lone Watie: I notice when you get to DISlikin' someone they ain't around for long neither.

    The camps I remember being in. Maybe some others, I was drinking, I was on the moon with Steve.



    my blog Which I rarely post to.

  10. #10
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    Re: Drunk Bailing Out thread

    Tonight I grilled for just me, wife just can't swallow the steak anymore no matter how tender it is. She had fish, hurt quite a bit to do it but she insisted I keep grilling what I want.
    Kissinger Quote "The superpowers often behave like two heavily armed blind men feeling their way around a room, each believing himself in mortal peril from the other, whom he assumes to have perfect vision.
    Over time even two armed blind men in a room can do enormous damage to each other, not to speak of the room."

    Josey Wales: When I get to likin' someone, they ain't around long.
    Lone Watie: I notice when you get to DISlikin' someone they ain't around for long neither.

    The camps I remember being in. Maybe some others, I was drinking, I was on the moon with Steve.



    my blog Which I rarely post to.

  11. #11
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    Re: Drunk Bailing Out thread

    Ahh my grandkids are here, they wore my wife out LOL. Actually she was already worn out from shopping for their school clothes and school supplies early in the morning.

    I'm drunk but I really don't have any of my usual drunk stuff to say. Except I seem to be typing better than usual. My stupid brother couldn't last until 1015 on the phone, like a half hour and his old *** falls to sleep. I'M OLDER DAMMIT, I HAVE THE HEART CONDITION, WHY IS HE FALLING ASLEEP. Actually I think switching to whiskey is going to make me live longer then him. "Thats a horrible thing to say Baling_Out," yeah it is.

    Anyway I'm going to post in the HLL thread to put it on top cause even though I aint bought yet I am going to. As much as I love WGT golf, I tend to gamble all my silver coins away in a big hurry as soon as I get them LOL. So I need a game where I am not gambling, even though its not for real money. I won't buy clubs with real money so I end up in big silver coin matches with people with much better clubs and half the time I beat them, even with my slow fingers but the other half loses all I have. When I get in a match with someone with those clubs and the par 4 is very long, well I'm screwed no matter how well I shoot. I can't get to the damn fairway on the first shot. You always play from the back tees on the big (silver) money matches. My old cheap clubs can't there.

    So soon, I will have HLL but I got to get me an AR rifle, cause even in this small town I feel the world is going to hell in a handbasket.
    Kissinger Quote "The superpowers often behave like two heavily armed blind men feeling their way around a room, each believing himself in mortal peril from the other, whom he assumes to have perfect vision.
    Over time even two armed blind men in a room can do enormous damage to each other, not to speak of the room."

    Josey Wales: When I get to likin' someone, they ain't around long.
    Lone Watie: I notice when you get to DISlikin' someone they ain't around for long neither.

    The camps I remember being in. Maybe some others, I was drinking, I was on the moon with Steve.



    my blog Which I rarely post to.

  12. #12
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    Re: Drunk Bailing Out thread

    Wife had a bad week. Sunday night I took off cause a my leg. Monday morning I saw how bad off she was when the folks called about her disability. Not SS but work. She couldn't do it, her hand shook so bad and she just handed me the phone saying "you have to do it". Well I didn't have to do anything, she'd already been declared disabled by the company so she's gonna get the payoff on that. What scared me was her being so scared to talk and all the shaking. She hadn't been eating and being at work during the night, I didn't know it. I just assumed. Spent the last week cooking gravy meals to get her strength back up, if she can't eat the main part she can at least get the gravy to go down. Throat cancer if you don't get that, their just isn't enough room to get the food to go down sometimes.

    I've only been a grown azz adult a few times in my life. Had my mother, then I had to be one for a few months for the ex wife cause she was an idiot, then I married my wife and she was the adult cause as she would tell you I never was except for when my mom was dying, then I had to do it a little bit. Now, I have to be one, again. Not very good at it cause I'm childish in many ways which yall have seen at times. Its way harder to be her and know you're dying of cancer and not be able to eat worth a crap.

    Dude I know who used to be a hospice worker told me to not let her get the tube going into her stomach very quickly cause as soon as they get that they go down hill real fast. How the **** am I supposed to break that to her. Nice to have the stent, heart works just fine now.

    She told me when the stent got put in "you aren't allowed to die before I do, you've been alone, I never have." She moved from home to living with me. I keep thinking of that, she was diagnosed with cancer like 2 months after, it was like God saying, "ok you can't live alone and he has to live, well I can make you die first real quick". I know thats not how it works but, its on my mind. I promised I'd keep living and so far I have.

    Sure you'll have more strength with the tube for a bit but it will kill you faster, maybe.

    **** this hurts.

    I know you youngins might wonder what its like to be married for decades, there are the good times, we've had those, plenty of them but at the end, you get these. She never smoked or drank or did any of the crap I did but she got cancer while I did everything and had to have a stent put in my heart but mostly I'm ok.
    Last edited by Bailing_Out; 10-04-2020 at 06:30 AM.
    Kissinger Quote "The superpowers often behave like two heavily armed blind men feeling their way around a room, each believing himself in mortal peril from the other, whom he assumes to have perfect vision.
    Over time even two armed blind men in a room can do enormous damage to each other, not to speak of the room."

    Josey Wales: When I get to likin' someone, they ain't around long.
    Lone Watie: I notice when you get to DISlikin' someone they ain't around for long neither.

    The camps I remember being in. Maybe some others, I was drinking, I was on the moon with Steve.



    my blog Which I rarely post to.

  13. #13
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    Gen. 'Buck' Turgidson
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    Re: Drunk Bailing Out thread

    Thanks for sharing, but it hurts like he11 to read it. I'm sorry for the pain your family is having. Yeah, decades before their time I've lost my mother and two longtime (from childhood), good friends. So sad to live through that. Love made it hurt, but also made it bearable.
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  14. #14
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    Re: Drunk Bailing Out thread

    Okay Melvin, the radiation helped some, just a little, she managed to eat some steak I had just cooked tonight. Not much but she ate it and didn't throw it up. The tube seems to work okay to the extent I can handle it which is not good LOL. She got mad for a minute but then she said "its okay Mike I know you weren't made for this". I messed up and let the pressure from her stomach shoot the Ensure drink back out at us. I know I cain't do that but now and then I mess up. I do the best I can.

    She started crying bout Christmas yesterday, thinking she might not live to see it and I told her "you made it this far why the hell do you think you won't make it till Christmas" Of course that make me a hardass LOL. People who know her as just ****ing amazed shes gone on this long with the liver cancer and all that.

    One of her old friends and our best friend, when I told her my wife mowed the yard while I was asleep said "shes not gonna stop", I then said she did it after chewing up like 10 mentos to get the sugar into her veins, then she repeated herself. "Lois is not gonna stop, she will keep working till she dies". I just wish she would let me take her on a trip but she won't.
    Kissinger Quote "The superpowers often behave like two heavily armed blind men feeling their way around a room, each believing himself in mortal peril from the other, whom he assumes to have perfect vision.
    Over time even two armed blind men in a room can do enormous damage to each other, not to speak of the room."

    Josey Wales: When I get to likin' someone, they ain't around long.
    Lone Watie: I notice when you get to DISlikin' someone they ain't around for long neither.

    The camps I remember being in. Maybe some others, I was drinking, I was on the moon with Steve.



    my blog Which I rarely post to.

  15. #15
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    Re: Drunk Bailing Out thread

    Aint ate much since.

    Anyway this is a story bout last night, kinda funny. Grand kids were here, they went to bed with my wife like they always have. Oldest has some sort of bug, we don't know about, pukes in the bed. Wife can't do much about except get up. I have to change the bed with the youngest, who does not wake up, still in the bed, FREAKING DO IT, pull the sheet out from under her and put the clean one under her. They go back to bed, oldest pukes the bed again, while I'm washing the bed clothes from the last puke job. Wife says hell with it I'm sleeping in my chair and goes there. I change the bed again with the youngest still in it. Wakes up slightly, looks at me, goes back to sleep. TWICE, the bed was changed under her but she kept on sleeping. Puke never got near her. Her older sister says, "Ashlynn's a heavy sleeper." LOL

    Will make it to Christmas, IMO, the tree is up early though cause she was scared she wouldn't see it one more time. I don't even know what to think bout that, never been faced with it.

    Not as drunk as I want to be tonight cause she said "don't get that drunk". I'm still drunk as hell. I got to have this night to numb my mind a bit. I am not an emotionally grown up man LOL ,yall all know that. Want to drink more than one day a week but I don't, only Saturday night.

    Shes scared shes gonna get hooked on pain pills cause she gets loopy sometimes. I told her, "you got cancer, you get to get loopy sometimes". Me and my brother, the amount she takes is nothing to us. Damn sure my former pill addict brother. I will admit that I sometimes give her more than recommended so she don't hurt, I can't watch that, I'm too weak to watch her hurt. I damn near die inside when I know shes hurting too much.

    The only reason I'm alive today is her so I won't let her hurt more than I have to.

    I stopped working awhile back(on personal leave), not gonna leave her in this house by herself anymore. I came home one morning and she was shaking and her arms going all over and I realized, she hadn't eaten, her blood sugar was so low she couldn't control her body, been home since. I was going to work, sleeping most of the day of course and then getting up to basically go to work again. I wasn't noticing she wasn't eating cause she couldn't. I've heard her moan in pain in the middle of the night and I can't imagine her doing that by herself.

    For you younger folks who've not had something like this happen, this is the "for better or worse and in sickness and in health" part of marriage.
    Last edited by Bailing_Out; 11-22-2020 at 04:23 AM.
    Kissinger Quote "The superpowers often behave like two heavily armed blind men feeling their way around a room, each believing himself in mortal peril from the other, whom he assumes to have perfect vision.
    Over time even two armed blind men in a room can do enormous damage to each other, not to speak of the room."

    Josey Wales: When I get to likin' someone, they ain't around long.
    Lone Watie: I notice when you get to DISlikin' someone they ain't around for long neither.

    The camps I remember being in. Maybe some others, I was drinking, I was on the moon with Steve.



    my blog Which I rarely post to.

  16. #16
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    Re: Drunk Bailing Out thread

    I've ate quite a bit lately LOL. Wife gets on to me if I don't. she can tell if I'm hungry, even dying.

    It was a rough week. Kept seeing all these things my wife used to do that I never had to mess with. Yesterday I realized those were my jobs now. Lois was never going to touch those things again. It hurt like a mother****er, my wife who has ran this house and made all the decisions is no longer doing that, I am. You might say well you leaned on her the entire time, and you'd be right in many ways, thing is she leaned on me too, I was to do certain things and I'm still doing them. I was never the one to pay the bills, she handled the money, now I got to. The only reason I can stay home with her while she dies is her. I woulda never saved 2 nickles except for her. I woulda had to work the last 3 months and left her at home by herself. Tough as she is she woulda been dead by now. She wanted to live until Christmas, wanted her grand kids to get presents from her one more time, they will. The oldest knows but she won't talk bout it much. She just knows and says things to me now and then.

    Takes all I got not to just start crying, cried bunch this week. People are gonna think I don't care when she dies cause I likely won't cry, I already cried a bunch.
    Kissinger Quote "The superpowers often behave like two heavily armed blind men feeling their way around a room, each believing himself in mortal peril from the other, whom he assumes to have perfect vision.
    Over time even two armed blind men in a room can do enormous damage to each other, not to speak of the room."

    Josey Wales: When I get to likin' someone, they ain't around long.
    Lone Watie: I notice when you get to DISlikin' someone they ain't around for long neither.

    The camps I remember being in. Maybe some others, I was drinking, I was on the moon with Steve.



    my blog Which I rarely post to.

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    Re: Drunk Bailing Out thread

    Wife died on the 26th. I aint drunk now but this thread is the one I post in about it. She wanted so bad to give the grandkids their Christmas presents but she got bad on Christmas eve and didn't get to. On the 26th in one of her last lucid moments she asked me what day it was, I told her and I could tell that took a lot out of her, she was dead not long after. She asked for her grandmother the night before as I helped her to the bathroom, I don't think she knew who I was. The trip to the bathroom nearly killed her but she insisted.

    She would have rolled her eyes as I left her funeral early thinking it was over, the minister sat down after he did the eulogy and I assumed this meant it was over. She would have said "what did you leave so early for, you paid for the whole thing you may as well get the whole thing" LOL. Kinda freaked out the funeral home guys who told me the service wasn't actually over yet when they came out to the parking lot. I couldn't stay in there anymore seeing the pictures and stuff.

    Now I am doing what she wanted, getting my daughter and her new husband a house. I told them you have to get going in life, you can't just go around surviving by living with me or his mother, my wife thought that too. Its not much of a house but its in good shape as far as I can tell. Me and my wife started out with a couch, a lawn chair, a bed and a foam ice chest used as an end table. At times my new son in law is an idiot but so was I. Thankfully my daughter is more like her mother than she will ever admit.

    I got to do something myself. I got to go back to making money again but thinking about going back to the plant makes me hurt inside. Right now with the virus shet it may be the only place I can go. The vaccine seems a bit iffy just looking at the side effects, death and other stuff I've heard about. To me it made more sense to give to the ones who spread and have a better chance of surviving the shot, the young, who much of the time don't even know they have it.

    Gonna get back to playing HLL soon, I miss dying like crazy lol
    Kissinger Quote "The superpowers often behave like two heavily armed blind men feeling their way around a room, each believing himself in mortal peril from the other, whom he assumes to have perfect vision.
    Over time even two armed blind men in a room can do enormous damage to each other, not to speak of the room."

    Josey Wales: When I get to likin' someone, they ain't around long.
    Lone Watie: I notice when you get to DISlikin' someone they ain't around for long neither.

    The camps I remember being in. Maybe some others, I was drinking, I was on the moon with Steve.



    my blog Which I rarely post to.

  18. #18
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    Re: Drunk Bailing Out thread

    I'm very sorry for your loss, Bailing. Thank you for sharing with us, albeit often drawing a tear. You have undergone an experience I would prefer not to have, but your stories told could help if I should go last.
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    Re: Drunk Bailing Out thread

    So sorry for your loss, may she rest in peace.

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    Re: Drunk Bailing Out thread

    This hits me like a ton of bricks Bailing. My thoughts are with you!

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    Re: Drunk Bailing Out thread

    I'm gonna start this but maybe not finish it tonight.

    The only reason I live died on December 26th. I told my daughter a story tonight maybe I shouldn't have. I told her bout the night me and Jimmy crossed 9 bridges the water was over. I always act like the first 8 were easy but they weren't. We just didn't care. One of them when I went over a log went under us and stopped. Had to back up and forth to get it to move on. Those were creeks, then we got to the river.

    Mexican feller stops us and says in broken English, "no go, water over bridge", we looked at him and said F THAT, we've crossed 8 bridges tonight with water over them, we are going. Thing is, that river is notorious for rising and falling quickly, all we'd have had to wait was 30 minutes actually, that river is also notorious for killing people. We had beer, we could have waited, but we didn't care, just like we hadn't cared about all the bridges we had crossed that night.

    Mexican feller says "Okay you go I follow", if anyone ever tells you white folks don't care bout Mexicans, well I got news for you, I could hear the white folks waiting with that Mexican on the north side of the bridge say to him as we started toward the bridge, "NO YOU ARE NOT CROSSING THAT BRIDGE WITH THOSE CRAZY BASTARDS", this was the 80's not now. I could see in the mirror them holding him from going to his truck. I am so glad they held him.

    Thing is, I guessed where the bridge was, had no idea really and Jimmy knew I was guessing just as I had all night and he went right along with it. The stuff I said to the Mexican man was bravado. I had no real idea where the bridge was. The water hit and was over the hood as we crossed, the only thing that kept us on that bridge was 6 inches of concrete on the side. That stuff washed away all the time, I knew that cause I had been on a crew that had replaced it. My tires were against it the entire time, that held us on the bridge. It damn sure wasn't the weight of an S 10 pickup.

    Thats how little me and Jimmy cared whether we lived or died. Our parents would have been devastated by our deaths at 22 but we didn't care. F it, we'd taken bigger chances and we had actually but I don't always remember the circumstances of those times, I remember this though. This story is just a thing about what being married to my wife did for me.

    Me Jimmy made it across obviously, go to the poll hall, get drunk as hell, we already were drunk actually. Playing pool and shet. Old crazy former inmate ran the place, been in prison God knows how many times. Even he thought me an Jimmy were nuts. Kieth Whitley had died recently, great fing country music singer, I mean he was really great, his poster was on the wall of the pool hall. Me an Jimmy both knew he died of alcohol poisoning and we both beat a beer can against the poster and said " have another beer Kieth". Two drunks who just crossed 9 bridges with water over them doing that is about as dark as you can get, Old Ralph, the excon that I mentioned earlier, didn't know that we had done that that night but even without knowing that, he thought that was a bit too dark and cursed us for it. You got to get pretty damn dark to make an excon do that.

    Tonight I told her why her father could do that, I didn't care. Told her, her mother was the reason I cared later. Didn't tell her the part where she was 3 before I actually did. If it weren't for my wife I'd have died long ago, my mother kept me alive until I met Lois then Lois made me live and give a shet whether I did or not. This isn't some thing where I say I'm gonna off myself, no Lois cured me before she left although I was never actually suicidal, I was just horribly reckless. I swear my mother only went ahead and died because she knew my wife would fix me.

    I have told her many times that without Lois/her mother, "their is no me, their is no you" but tonight I put the context to it, its not just something I say, its real. Thats who/what I miss now. I have to get on with what she wanted done and go on doing something with myself. She would be damn disappointed if I just gave up and quit.

    Her mother hated my wife and several of her siblings, she never had the loving childhood I had had, yet she didn't have the darkness in her I had for some unknown reason. That old ***** treated my daughter, her grandchild like shet. They were poor as dirt, poorer than my family. Later her sister was shot in the head by some drug heads and her 3 year old niece killed in the same attack, yet she never had the darkness in her like I had. They killed a 3 year old to keep from having witnesses. How the hell could she not have more darkness than me? She didn't though, she always said when one spouse killed the other, no matter the reason "they could have just divorced", cause their was usually a child left by itself. She knew what the hell that was like after her father died after her parents divorced then her mother hated her. BUT SHE NEVER WENT DARK. Maybe down some but never dark.

    Thats what I miss now. Someone who could go on with all of that and still keep going and loving. My love for her will never let me go dark again. I been there, I seen that, its not a good place and I aint going back. I might get down now and then, get drunk an say some crazy stuff but I aint goin there again. I will not cross that bridge again.
    Kissinger Quote "The superpowers often behave like two heavily armed blind men feeling their way around a room, each believing himself in mortal peril from the other, whom he assumes to have perfect vision.
    Over time even two armed blind men in a room can do enormous damage to each other, not to speak of the room."

    Josey Wales: When I get to likin' someone, they ain't around long.
    Lone Watie: I notice when you get to DISlikin' someone they ain't around for long neither.

    The camps I remember being in. Maybe some others, I was drinking, I was on the moon with Steve.



    my blog Which I rarely post to.

  22. #22
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    Re: Drunk Bailing Out thread

    Well, looks like I wasn't the only one with a **** ending to their year. My deepest condolences man, losing people to cancer is terrible but losing your spouse...Can't even begin to imagine how much that sucks.

    Anyway, weirdly enough I can relate to the darkness bit about your youth. Been feeling the same **** myself during the last few years or so, nothing really seems to matter anymore and alcohol seems to be the only respite at this point.

    Well anyway, this is not my thread to complain in so I'll stop here.

    Also obviously keep going man, no point in giving up if you've gotten that far.
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    Re: Drunk Bailing Out thread

    Keep on going on Feg
    Kissinger Quote "The superpowers often behave like two heavily armed blind men feeling their way around a room, each believing himself in mortal peril from the other, whom he assumes to have perfect vision.
    Over time even two armed blind men in a room can do enormous damage to each other, not to speak of the room."

    Josey Wales: When I get to likin' someone, they ain't around long.
    Lone Watie: I notice when you get to DISlikin' someone they ain't around for long neither.

    The camps I remember being in. Maybe some others, I was drinking, I was on the moon with Steve.



    my blog Which I rarely post to.

  24. #24
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    Re: Drunk Bailing Out thread

    Tonight drunk Bailing talks to the oldest cat Patti, bout Momma ( my wife). Hadn't talked to her bout Momma since Lois died, didn't have the heart to do it. Tonight I did, petting her, petting her and then I bring up Momma, talk about her and then she suddenly she starts biting an scratching me like "you bring Momma back", I start crying and said "I wish I could baby, I wish I could". Shes been weird for awhile since Lois died, so have the others.
    Kissinger Quote "The superpowers often behave like two heavily armed blind men feeling their way around a room, each believing himself in mortal peril from the other, whom he assumes to have perfect vision.
    Over time even two armed blind men in a room can do enormous damage to each other, not to speak of the room."

    Josey Wales: When I get to likin' someone, they ain't around long.
    Lone Watie: I notice when you get to DISlikin' someone they ain't around for long neither.

    The camps I remember being in. Maybe some others, I was drinking, I was on the moon with Steve.



    my blog Which I rarely post to.

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    Re: Drunk Bailing Out thread

    Listening to music tonight, drunk as ****. All week been talking to my wife, she tells me stuff now and then. Even helps me find stuff I misplaced. The thing she won't tell me is "what am I supposed to do now". I have no clue, the last 10-12 years a my life was taking care a her as she fell apart in a way. Did best I could, but she didn't exactly let anyone tell her no don't do that. She just kept on going doing stuff she shouldn't have. Though in the end that aint what killed her.

    I just keep remembering what she said after I had the stent put in my heart, "you have to outlive me cause I've never been alone". So I tried and succeeded. I am so glad cause I wouldn't want her to live this, it ****ing sucks.

    Edit: No I am not about to off myself.
    Last edited by Bailing_Out; 03-28-2021 at 10:17 AM.
    Kissinger Quote "The superpowers often behave like two heavily armed blind men feeling their way around a room, each believing himself in mortal peril from the other, whom he assumes to have perfect vision.
    Over time even two armed blind men in a room can do enormous damage to each other, not to speak of the room."

    Josey Wales: When I get to likin' someone, they ain't around long.
    Lone Watie: I notice when you get to DISlikin' someone they ain't around for long neither.

    The camps I remember being in. Maybe some others, I was drinking, I was on the moon with Steve.



    my blog Which I rarely post to.

  26. #26
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    Re: Drunk Bailing Out thread

    Bailing, I just now saw this man. I am so sorry for your loss. Heartbreaking. I don't know what I'd do if something happened to my wife. Hang in there man.

    - - - Updated - - -

    Quote Originally Posted by Bailing_Out View Post
    Wife died on the 26th. I aint drunk now but this thread is the one I post in about it. She wanted so bad to give the grandkids their Christmas presents but she got bad on Christmas eve and didn't get to. On the 26th in one of her last lucid moments she asked me what day it was, I told her and I could tell that took a lot out of her, she was dead not long after. She asked for her grandmother the night before as I helped her to the bathroom, I don't think she knew who I was. The trip to the bathroom nearly killed her but she insisted.

    She would have rolled her eyes as I left her funeral early thinking it was over, the minister sat down after he did the eulogy and I assumed this meant it was over. She would have said "what did you leave so early for, you paid for the whole thing you may as well get the whole thing" LOL. Kinda freaked out the funeral home guys who told me the service wasn't actually over yet when they came out to the parking lot. I couldn't stay in there anymore seeing the pictures and stuff.

    Now I am doing what she wanted, getting my daughter and her new husband a house. I told them you have to get going in life, you can't just go around surviving by living with me or his mother, my wife thought that too. Its not much of a house but its in good shape as far as I can tell. Me and my wife started out with a couch, a lawn chair, a bed and a foam ice chest used as an end table. At times my new son in law is an idiot but so was I. Thankfully my daughter is more like her mother than she will ever admit.

    I got to do something myself. I got to go back to making money again but thinking about going back to the plant makes me hurt inside. Right now with the virus shet it may be the only place I can go. The vaccine seems a bit iffy just looking at the side effects, death and other stuff I've heard about. To me it made more sense to give to the ones who spread and have a better chance of surviving the shot, the young, who much of the time don't even know they have it.

    Gonna get back to playing HLL soon, I miss dying like crazy lol
    Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction. We didn't pass it to our children in the bloodstream. It must be fought for, protected, and handed on for them to do the same.
    Ronald Reagan

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    Re: Drunk Bailing Out thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Buzz Adams View Post
    Bailing, I just now saw this man. I am so sorry for your loss. Heartbreaking. I don't know what I'd do if something happened to my wife. Hang in there man.

    - - - Updated - - -
    Thanks Buzz. I aint doin nothing cause I found I can no longer do my old job or any job where I have to be on a hard surface. I just hurt toes to my back, especially my hips. Last time I managed a half a day. Went and said to the HR person, "I think we all know I don't really work here anymore" she agreed and so now I am burning through my vacation days. Will likely go on leave till I can get a doctor to declare me disabled. I'm ok on grass and dirt but hell I can't even cook on my deck anymore cause the damn thing is too hard LOL. I was hurting like hell before I took off to take care of her but I kept going cause I had to. Now I can't cause it hurts way worse.

    She yells for me to get up and do something now and then (dreams I guess) and I wake up LOL. Love hell outta a ya spouse while they live cause you can't imagine how much you'll miss them when they are gone.

    Got ideas to do somethings but I gotta get it situated.
    Kissinger Quote "The superpowers often behave like two heavily armed blind men feeling their way around a room, each believing himself in mortal peril from the other, whom he assumes to have perfect vision.
    Over time even two armed blind men in a room can do enormous damage to each other, not to speak of the room."

    Josey Wales: When I get to likin' someone, they ain't around long.
    Lone Watie: I notice when you get to DISlikin' someone they ain't around for long neither.

    The camps I remember being in. Maybe some others, I was drinking, I was on the moon with Steve.



    my blog Which I rarely post to.

  28. #28
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    Re: Drunk Bailing Out thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Bailing_Out View Post
    Thanks Buzz. I aint doin nothing cause I found I can no longer do my old job or any job where I have to be on a hard surface. I just hurt toes to my back, especially my hips. Last time I managed a half a day. Went and said to the HR person, "I think we all know I don't really work here anymore" she agreed and so now I am burning through my vacation days. Will likely go on leave till I can get a doctor to declare me disabled. I'm ok on grass and dirt but hell I can't even cook on my deck anymore cause the damn thing is too hard LOL. I was hurting like hell before I took off to take care of her but I kept going cause I had to. Now I can't cause it hurts way worse.

    She yells for me to get up and do something now and then (dreams I guess) and I wake up LOL. Love hell outta a ya spouse while they live cause you can't imagine how much you'll miss them when they are gone.

    Got ideas to do somethings but I gotta get it situated.
    Well, I know I would miss my wife "so much" if anything happened to her. I have had all the health issues so I figure I'll go before her. I am trying to take care of all kinds of stuff just in case something does happen to me. Sounds like you need a back doctor buddy. Have you got a diagnosis? I will be 64 this year in October so I know getting old isn't for sissies. I hope you can get some of your health issues taken care of. Don't give up man. I have days when I feel like I can't go, but I make myself. I want to crawl back in bed and sleep a couple more hours. Take care of yourself.

    Hey, btw...you had said something in the thread about a new computer. I just finished building me a new one. I got an Intel processor i9-10900KF, I maxed this thing out on every spec I could. I love it.
    I bought me a Full size COUGAR Case (easy access on the sides), and an EVGA RTX3090 video card, 4TB SSD HD's, 128MB Corsair Ram, liquid cooled CPU, 1000 watt EVGA power supply, Z490 EVGA MB, a new Corsair Keyboard, and a G502 Hero mouse. I topped it off with an Alienware AW3821Dw 38" Curved monitor. I maxed out everything I could. I spent a chunk of my end of year bonus. I waited three months for the EVGA RTX3090. I ordered it in December and finally got it in March so I was able to put it all together. I think all the scabs had bought them to sell on EBAY. Everything works great and graphics are amazing. I loaded HELL LET LOOSE tonight. BEAUTIFUL game. I am definitely a newbie though. I have to get used to playing again.
    Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction. We didn't pass it to our children in the bloodstream. It must be fought for, protected, and handed on for them to do the same.
    Ronald Reagan

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    Re: Drunk Bailing Out thread

    Thats quite a setup Buzz. I got a chip to put in, its a I9-9900, 8 cores, up to 5ghz, unlocked. I haven't gotten around to putting it in yet though. The video cards are supposedly being bought up by bitcoin miners so its hard to get the good ones. My old RX 590 will do for awhile I guess. The ram I guess I could get but I haven't gotten around to it yet.


    The diagnosis is I cannot stand on any hard surface anymore or it hurts from my feet to my back. I manage the mow the yard but my back kills me the entire time. Theirs been plenty of X-rays taken of my body but no one seems to know why it hurts.
    Kissinger Quote "The superpowers often behave like two heavily armed blind men feeling their way around a room, each believing himself in mortal peril from the other, whom he assumes to have perfect vision.
    Over time even two armed blind men in a room can do enormous damage to each other, not to speak of the room."

    Josey Wales: When I get to likin' someone, they ain't around long.
    Lone Watie: I notice when you get to DISlikin' someone they ain't around for long neither.

    The camps I remember being in. Maybe some others, I was drinking, I was on the moon with Steve.



    my blog Which I rarely post to.

  30. #30
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    Re: Drunk Bailing Out thread

    I made the last new panel


    Been awhile since I changed a comic. No way for me to do the comics font.
    Kissinger Quote "The superpowers often behave like two heavily armed blind men feeling their way around a room, each believing himself in mortal peril from the other, whom he assumes to have perfect vision.
    Over time even two armed blind men in a room can do enormous damage to each other, not to speak of the room."

    Josey Wales: When I get to likin' someone, they ain't around long.
    Lone Watie: I notice when you get to DISlikin' someone they ain't around for long neither.

    The camps I remember being in. Maybe some others, I was drinking, I was on the moon with Steve.



    my blog Which I rarely post to.

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